Nice Jewelry And A Boy's Corpse

Oh, You're So Pretty

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Glee 304: Pot o’ Gold



So I take it this is the episode that the dude from The Glee Project appears. Not the quasi-winner Rachel 2.0 again, not the other quasi-winner Kurt&Mercedes 2.0, not the other actual-winner Puck 2.0 with the dreads, but the other actual-winner Finn 2.0 with the adorable accent. (I’m bad with names so I just go with character niches.) I think he’s the more popular/loved among the two winners, so hopefully this will be a wonderful welcoming of a new fresh face or something. To be fair, I only watched the finale episode of The Glee Project, so I’m basing everything I know about those kiddums from that one episode and what my friends who actually watched the whole season tell me.




Wasting no time getting our The Glee Project winner (1 of 2) introduced, I see! So, he’s an exchange student or something? Living with Brittany? And she thinks he’s a leprechaun? Well, I forgot the actor’s actual name so I’m going to call him Celtic Thunder. That’s the group he sang in or something, right?



But why is he dressed like that?



Also, I’m not too convinced on his acting so far.



Anyway, Quinn and Puck are putting into action their plan of getting baby Beth back by volunteering to babysit. They’re rather creepy in how earnest they are.



Also, why are they still under the delusion that they can properly raise a child?



Meanwhile, Sue rallies to get the school musical canceled by announcing the budget on TV.

Sue: “$2,004! That’s a year’s salary for a public school math teacher wasted on fake switchblades and the soft packing of teen dance belts.”



Figgins: “I’m caught between a rock and a different, equally hard rock!”

Blah blah blah once again some faction of the Glee club needs money blah blah blah. We’ve only heard this about fifty billion times before.



D’aww, that note from Lord Tubbington in Santana’s locker is adorable!



Mercedes talks to Santana about how few solos she got last year in Glee Club.

Santana: “I was also the lips in Rocky Horror.”

LOL.



And Mercedes tries to get Santana over to Shelby’s show choir.

AND SANTANA WON’T LEAVE BECAUSE SHE LURRRRRRVES BRITTANY! D’AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Can they just get together already please? I have been waiting for this pairing to happen since season one. I could give a rat’s ass about every other couple.



New Directions is all bummed over Mercedes leaving – ha! Why didn’t you show her this kind of appreciation when she was part of your group, hmmm? – and begin to fight with each other.



Or, more accurately, Everybody Hates Rachel, Rachel is in Panicky Diva Mode over the cut funding for the musical, and Finn doesn’t like it when People Who Aren’t Finn (or Rachel) try to lead the club (especially Blaine).



Schue decides to fund the musical by getting the Glee Club to sell ads in the program. I wonder how this latest plot will go belly-up like all the others.



Finn walks in on Celtic Thunder rearranging Lucky Charms into only marshmallow bits, in accordance with Brittany’s first wish.

Side story: When I was a kid, my sister and I loved Lucky Charms. She loved the marshmallows, and I loved the not-marshmallows, so the boxes split perfectly for us. It was such a good system. So my point is, if you ever throw away the not-marshmallows, don’t. Just give them to me, because I will happily eat them.



Celtic Thunder: “Finn Hudson!”

I genuinely thought he said “Van Helsing” the first time around. Which is much cooler.

Although Finn would make a shitty Van Helsing. He’d fall madly in love with his kick-ass vampire hunter lady, but as soon as they got together he’d probably decide he actually wanted the werewolf.

Anyway.



Finn: “You know who I am?”

Celtic Thunder: “I’ve seen you on YouTube, losing Glee Club Nationals after tongue-kissing your girlfriend for ten minutes.”



Ah, his name is Rory Flanagan.

Yeah, I’m gonna stick with Celtic Thunder.

Wow is this boy socially awkward! In the span of two minutes, we not only hear about where he’s from and where he’s living, but also that he’s a virgin and has no friends here at McKinley High. And then asks Finn if he’d be his friend.



So, judging by all the looks Celtic Thunder kept shooting Finn (seriously, they weren’t just looks, there was something possibly creepy about them. Could just be his eye color or awkward demeanor, though), I’m guessing he’s either going to end up as Finn’s rival just like Sunshine Corazon and Rachel Berry last year…OR he’s like Sunshine from Remember The Titans and really just wants to kiss Finn.

The latter Sunshine would be way more entertaining, but he’s probably going to be like the former. Oh well. Well, I’m now calling him Celtic Sunshine.



Also, it should be noted that while Celtic Sunshine did 90% of the talking in this scene, I still got way more actual acting from Cory Monteith through facial expressions and body language alone. Celtic Sunshine’s gotta step the acting up, he’s coming across incredibly flat and uncomfortable in front of the camera in all of his scenes so far.



But now, babysititng adventures with Puck and Quinn!



Baby Beth starts crying as soon as Shelby hands her off to Quinn, but calms down when Puck picks her up. HMMM.



And then Quinn sets off to plant evidence of bad parenting throughout Shelby’s apartment.

I really wish the writers would give Quinn a break. Can she not be flying-off-the-handles insane for once?



And yes, girl is batshit insane right now. On a crazy tunnel vision quest to get Beth taken away from Shelby and given back to her, without any thought of how to take care of Beth or even get to know her? Yeah, that’s insane. And terrible parenting. If there’s one thing that pisses me the hell off, it’s being a bad parent.



Anyway, Burt Hummel finds out about the cut funding for the musical and brings his funeral home buddies to bring the hurt down on Principal Figgins!

Or, okay, to fund the musical in its entirety. I guess that works, too.



Sue: “I am literally horny with fear!”



Aw, poor little Celtic Sunshine getting picked on! MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED WEARING SO MUCH GREEN ALL THE TIME.

Like, seriously. Even Kurt Hummel in a Green Phase wouldn’t wear that much green. I suppose it has to do with Brittany thinking he’s a leprechaun, but still. Poor lad.



LMFAO. SPEAKING OF GREEN. How about a solo about being green?

It’s funny. When he sings, his accent all but disappears except for lower notes and then it starts sounding like a country twang.



Anyway, this song was well sung by Celtic Sunshine (no I do not remember the actor’s name at all), but it was ultimately rather boring because I’m just not emotionally invested in this character at all. Why does he have an introspective solo? I have no desire to get inside his head. He’s not compelling as a character yet, which I do partially blame on the actor. He’s a bit flat.



Santana and Brit-Brit are on a dinner date at Breadstix!



Santana: “You know, that thing we never talk about?”

Brittany: “What, that Sour Patch Kids are just Gummi Bears that turned to drugs?”



Santana wants to know if they’re dating.

Brittany: “Wait, isn’t this a date? Aren’t you paying, because I ordered shrimp!”



Aww, and Santana wants to hold hands!



Under a napkin! Still counts!

But yeah, this little scene will probably come back and bite us in the ass later. Too many shifty looks by Santana and not-genuine talk after the Glee club business came up.



Puck’s pool-cleaning business is back! Hooray!



LMFAO AND HE’S SO IN LOVE WITH BETH HE LOVES HER MORE THAN GETTIN’ SOME WITH THE COUGAR LADIES! LMFAOOOOOO

See, this is why I love Puck. For all that he tries to be a badass, he’s such a gooey adorably earnest sweetheart in his own special way.



…And Quinn is batshit. SHE CALLED CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVIES WTF LADY. And she wants Puck to stop his pool-cleaning business and get a real job.



Because her Big Plan for the future is to raise Beth? GIRL YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A JOB.

Quinn: “Beth is perfect. She’s my perfect thing. Something even I can’t screw up.”

Ohohoho, there are miles of studies on parenting that will beg to differ.

I get it, okay? I get that Quinn is floundering so badly right now that she’s grasping at straws and has stuck herself under the horribly misguided delusion that somehow getting Beth back will reestablish some normalcy in her life and bring her closer to the glory days she once had. BUT this is a child’s life at stake. The show has dragged this on long enough, she has gone too far and an adult (preferably Emma or Coach Beiste, who seem to be the only two adults who actually act sane around the children) needs to step in, steer her off this path and help her onto a more healthy one. Girl needs help, and needs it bad, and she’s needed help since Episode 4 of Season 1, and the writers have continually refused to give her that help and instead repeatedly use her as their cray-cray punching bag.

And this is why I get so frustrated with the writers before I get frustrated with Quinn, because this is not good story writing. This is a story about kids, and no one wants to see a story about a kid sending herself further and further into a downward spiral without anyone giving her a hand up. We want to see problems, yes, but we want to see an ultimate resolution. We don’t want to see a halfway resolution quickly mitigated by an even bigger problem. This is why I have never listed Quinn as my least favorite character – although if this baby nonsense keeps going on, she just might get there – because the writers never let up on her, even when they should, and it shows. Rachel gets cut a break. Kurt gets cut more breaks than not. Finn doesn’t get cut a break so much as his actions are glorified and he’s portrayed in the right no matter what he does. Quinn never gets cut a break.



Yes, Quinn’s got a barbed personality. Yes, she’s got problems and she’s not likely to let someone in and she’s more likely to react in aggression rather than show any weakness or positivity, but you know what? Puck back in Season 1 and even parts of Season 2 was the exact same way, if not worse. And his character has been developed and grown so much since. Schue repeatedly encourages him and gives him little opportunities to take charge and stand up for the club, and Puck has taken those chances and become so much better. No one’s given Quinn a hand up like that. Sure, Schue protected her from Figgins the one time with that stupid Glee Hottie List or whatever, but has he ever given Quinn an opportunity to represent the Glee club or call on her unique skills to help out in some way? No he hasn’t, and neither have any of the other adults. Sue cared/cares for Quinn in her own way, but to the girl herself she’s only shown manipulation. Quinn needs someone from the outside to help her – an actual competent adult, not some wise-beyond-their-years teenager – and she hasn’t gotten that once.

Well, that turned into quite a rant. Back to the show!



Brittany: “He knows about my leprechaun!”



Ooh, the band kids are here! There’s going to be a number!



…Oh. It’s another number by Glee’s top cash cow Darren Criss.



Also entirely randomly placed in and has nothing to do with the episode.



Oh, I get it. They’re doing impressions! Blaine is Blaine being Blaine, and Mike Chang is every Glee-watcher who isn’t madly in love with Darren Criss.



A WILD BLAINE APPEARS!!



SANTANA USED “BITCH GTFO.”

IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!



Cute&Happy Bass Player, it’s not nice to smile at boys who block your boyfriend.

Also, are they playing Musical Guitars with their lead guitarist or something? I swear it’s been a different guy every episode. I call this one Dean Thomas, mostly because he is incredibly tall and skinny and ever-present in the background. Just like Dean Thomas.



Mr. Schue is a-okay with his kids singing about getting blackout drunk, running from the cops, and having threesomes whilst in a school setting. You just keep racking up points for Teacher of the Year, Mr. Schue, you really do.



Mike Chang, World Class Cock-Blocker.



So let me get this straight. These kids fuss over the cost of funding the musical, don’t sell any ads (except Kurt, who did pretty much all the work), and then Burt Hummel sweeps in and gets everything done, so they party in relief by singing about drunken exploits on a Friday night?

(Also, WTF is Tina wearing? This is so far outside her aesthetic I’m beyond confused.)



Remember how last episode gave us hope about the state of Glee? This number reminds me of everything that Glee did wrong.



Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new pecking order of Glee. Darren Criss is number one cash cow first, followed by Lea Michele, and then everyone else just gets to dogpile over third banana, no one cares about them anyway.



Rachel, you really think you guys should do that song for Sectionals? Where the fuck did the actual Rachel go??



Santana meanwhile gets upset that the state of New Directions seems to be gunning for the Blaine & Rachel Show. Which is a valid complaint.



So she storms out and goes to have a little talk with Celtic Sunshine.



You want Celtic Sunshine to grant you a wish, Santana? BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM WHAT THE WISH WAS

I kid, I kid. No one can intimidate the bejesus out of someone like Santana can. I wonder what the wish is going to be.

Probably for Brittany to leave New Directions and join Shelby’s show choir with her.



HA I AM PSYCHIC!

Or this entire episode is just incredibly transparent. Man, what happened to the great writing of Asian F? This has just been a clunker.



GOOD GRIEF CELTIC SUNSHINE SHOW SOME EMOTIONS. REACT OR SOMETHING. THROW ME A FECKING BONE HERE.



Schue goes to Burt Hummel to ask him to run against Sue in the election.

And Burt is already two steps ahead of him! That’s how Burt do!



BABY BETH YOU ARE A BUNDLE OF PRECIOUSNESS WHAT A CUTE LITTLE BABY



But anyway, Puck goes to visit Beth Shelby!



And to take back the incriminating evidence Quinn planted.

Is Shelby going to catch him in the act and think he’s trying to steal from her? Or will he be forced to tell her the truth about how batshit insane Quinn is?



Oh, no, he’s just going to pull out a conveniently located guitar and sing a song. Okay.



Well, I do love Mark Salling solos so that’s okay.

And see, he does have skills with Baby Beth. Beth loves him.



Shelby. Shelby why are you pouring out all your emotions to a high school boy? You are a grown-ass woman.



So, Celtic Sunshine barging in on Finn in the locker room is hi-larious.



Finn: “Is it true?”

Brittany: “No, of course not!”

Finn: “You’re…not leaving New Directions?”

Brittany: “Oh, I thought you were talking about the Selena Gomez pregnancy rumors.”



Santana: “Every time [Blaine] opens his dreamboat a capella mouth you are just itching to kick him right in the Warblers.”

Well, the episode may be clunky, but whoever’s been writing Santana’s lines tonight has been on fire.



And Finn calls Brittany an idiot.

Ah, foot in mouth and all that jazz.



I do love how much Brittany has grown, absorbing her most-hated insult and letting it roll of her back while laying down a srs bsnss lecture and coming out the victor. I’d vote for her for class president, hands down.



And Burt Hummel delivers a speech on the news channel. Go Burt!

I’m excited for the Burt/Sue rivalry. They’re really quite evenly matched, Sue with her mile-a-minute schemes and barbed wit and Burt with his gargantuan (I so rarely have an opportunity to use that word in a sentence) levels of unflappability. Unlike the ever-rehashed Sue vs. Schue rivalry that gets boring as hell, Sue vs. Burt is a great throwdown.



Aww, Sugar Matta or however the hell you spell that is adorable now that her brashness got efficiently shut down by some real divas with attitude.



Jumping around in the background between heads, that was so cute! I like this actress!



And that, now that was a kickass number!



Although for future TroubleTones numbers, I hope Heather Morris is not given the lead nearly as much as Amber Riley and Naya Rivera. Vocally she just can’t hold a candle to them. Which is fine, because she can dance circles around them.



Awww, and Brittany accepts that leprechauns don’t exist and ditches Celtic Sunshine, and Santana lays on some typical Santana bitchery on top of it.



Do you gotta kick the little squirt while he’s down like that? It’s bad enough he has no friends and Finn only uses him to get information on the Glee Club without actually being nice to him. At all. Poor little Celtic Sunshine.



The Hummel-Hudson clan go out to eat at Breadstix to celebrate Burt’s successful candidacy!



And Kurt’s worried about the stress on Burt’s heart!



And Sue delivers a truly disgusting-looking entrée and decides to gear her campaign towards special education!



Finn: “Anyone mind if I just dig in?”



At some point during school when people are around yet the hallways are completely empty, Celtic Sunshine is getting picked on by the mullet-toting hockey players.

Hockey Dude: “Say U2 is overrated! SAY IT!”

Celtic Sunshine: “NEVER!”



Wooooow, that mullet is terrifying. Did he stick a Bump-It in there or something?



Okay, what was with the random cheerleader? Oh well.



So Finn recruits Celtic Sunshine to join the New Directions.



And he sings a quick audition solo. Or just a solo, because no one here actually auditions.



Oh snap, he just went up into falsetto! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Chris Colfer!



Well, he is incredibly talented vocally. He just can’t act worth a damn.



And Puck kisses Shelby. I wish I could say I didn’t see that coming, but that weird-ass conversation from earlier made it pretty obvious.

It’s really creepy, though. Hopefully next episode starts promptly with her pushing him right the hell off and lecturing him over a plate of mac n cheese, or something.


So.....yeah. An ultimately disappointing episode. The standout performance was "Candyman" by the TroubleTones, hands down. "Last Friday Night (TGIF)" also stood out in a negative light for showcasing the unfortunate randomness and cash cow-pushing problems that still plague the show. Celtic Sunshine is an incredibly talented vocalist and I'm happy to add his heavy-lifting skills to the pool, but his character is quite boring and his acting skills are nonexistent. I hope he either gets way less acting scenes or just shoots up a super steep learning curve, because this was dreadful.

After the treat that was Asian F, which would indeed merit a grade of an Asian F (A-), I would give this show a College F. In college (or at mine, anyway), if you get a C- in a class you might as well not have taken it, because it won't count towards graduation. Therefore, this episode gets a C-. College F. Better luck next time, Glee.


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didnt like rory's character either he is really boring and in glee project he was the one i was rooting for.
i like Quinn storyline if next episode they find a therapist for her,she is just a sad sad person.plz tell me shelby is going to push him away its weird just because mark salling is 30 doesn't give them right to pair them together.
about spoiler ,i've been avoiding it for this season and its really hard i have to avoid all the websites that i like so i wouldn't read spoiler accidentally ,and they have all the detail for next episode its crazy

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